of change & cynics.

Things change. 

Two words. Amazing really. 

Honestly, I should know this better than anyone. I’ve been betrayed and hurt by people far more times than I care to count. One thing that I’ve never had,through each and every one of those experiences? 

Closure. 

Maybe if I did, things would be different. I would have been smarter, thought with my head and not my heart. Things like that. It's probably just wishful thinking. I realized that I start all my relationships (and friendships, for that matter) with too much trust. 

I have this tendency to never question people. You need my help? You ask, and it's done. I put my friends needs before my own. I put them before anything else. So when something happens and that friendship gets damaged, sometimes beyond repair? You can bet I'll be the one that's more hurt. 

When I like someone, or when I consider people close friends, it's almost inconceivable that you could be having the time of your life with that person, and all of a sudden, the friendship's over. 

Over the years, I've finally come to the realization that I trust people far too easily. So I've developed a sort of shell. To keep myself away from everyone, thus in my mind, keeping myself from getting hurt.

I don't even know why the hell I'm typing all this out at three in the morning. My insomnia's been killing me plus my sleeping and eating  schedule has been so fucked up recently because PMR's over and I haven't had school for two weeks. 

Anyway, I'm just gonna try to sleep now cause I have archery training in around five hours. I'm screwed. G'night to anyone who's reading this. 

I'm not usually this cynical, honest. I just need to get all this off my chest. 

Things change, I should really just learn to fucking deal with it. 

"Um, like no offense but..."

For fucks sakes. No offense  just means, sorry, but just shut up cause I'm going to insult you/something you like/your friend and expect you to be quiet. Honestly, why can't people just say what they mean? Really, this pisses me off. Best part is, if someone says No Offense and you get annoyed, people think you're a bitch. I'm just like, "really? really?"

Moving on, I'm listening to The Libertines! :D I like this so far actually. Can't believe it took me this  long to finally get around downloading the album.

Right about now, you're probably wondering what the hell am I doing, blogging  in the middle of PMR. (Okay, not the middle, there's only a day left) I've got two subjects left, Kemahiran Hidup & Maths. I am going to die. Maths paper 2. *cue suicide here*  

Truth is, I'm getting supremely bored. Couple more days and I get my life back. Lol, Dan literally just texted me good luck. :D  After PMR I shall spend my days lazing about, watching tv, updating this and catching up on my reading. Also,  I miss Yaya. I haven't seen that freak since Tokio Hotel in May! :(  

So er, yeah. That's about it. This has been a meaningless post in which I did not make sense at all. 

If  you've read this till the end, wow, you're bored. 

Thank you for your time. 

Oh, and TV Show update! Season Six of How I Met Your Mother is fucking EPIC,  Hellcats is pretty cool, Gossip Girl S4 is good, (Clemence Poesy, you and your gorgeous hair. Yaya, yours looks like hers actually.) I need to watch Castle Season 3. Criminal Minds is by far my new favorite.

Matthew Gray Gubler, you own my heart. 

Okay rambled on for far too long. I'm done now. (for good this time) 

kthxbai x